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jessal

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jessal

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3675
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About jessal : I'm easy going and fun. If you want to know more then message me.

jessal's page activity

Visits<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:54pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:21pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:31pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 10:11pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:02pm<b>xmalachix</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:35am<b>TheIronFez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:27am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:23pm<b>KingBobtheThird</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Mafia_</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:12pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:41pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:47pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:10pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:47pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:57am

Fucked!<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:21am<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:35am<b>TheIronFez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29pm<b>Mafia_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:49pm<b>troydeluca</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:20pm

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jessal's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234165) - you deserved it (29300)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40926) - you deserved it (135427)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66818) - you deserved it (11245)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

#765462
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68393) - you deserved it (7685)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

#760336
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (72782)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML

#742208
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11306) - you deserved it (75173)

On 04/01/2009 at 5:18am - misc - by esv (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103228) - you deserved it (22399)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84433) - you deserved it (16781)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (83003)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

#516952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53449) - you deserved it (12037)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (193989)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178651) - you deserved it (34672)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML

#374506
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30116) - you deserved it (65677)

On 03/16/2009 at 5:55am - misc - by WhatdyaDo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14077) - you deserved it (127118)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

#264253
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (58674)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)



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