Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4636
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About jessal : I'm easy going and fun. If you want to know more then message me.

jessal's page activity

Visits<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 7:02am<b>platypus546</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:50pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:01am<b>FEATHDUCK</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:45pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 5:22pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:51am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:52am<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:57pm<b>15Erik</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:54pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:21pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:31pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 10:11pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:02pm<b>xmalachix</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:35am<b>TheIronFez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:30pm

Fucked!<b>15Erik</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:52am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:21am<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:35am<b>TheIronFez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29pm<b>Mafia_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:49pm<b>troydeluca</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:20pm

jessal's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of jessal's badges

jessal's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML


I agree, your life sucks (47508) - you deserved it (3081)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (5893)

On 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm - health - by angelamegan21 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49551) - you deserved it (29570)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML


I agree, your life sucks (51448) - you deserved it (23120)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39690) - you deserved it (12859)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43901) - you deserved it (21018)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49482) - you deserved it (7148)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML


Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (4715)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML


I agree, your life sucks (47149) - you deserved it (4437)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: