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jessal

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jessal

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 522
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Visits<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:09am<b>realmercurial7</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:32am<b>mattbaker</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:26am<b>aleximo</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:36pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:37pm<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:31pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:06pm<b>thestrangedude</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:33am<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:23pm<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 4:06pm<b>whitevenom</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:29pm<b>olpally</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 4:48pm<b>Chloe_C_H</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 4:04pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:05am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 2:56pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:23am

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jessal's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46013) - you deserved it (4950)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (23377)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49610) - you deserved it (3989)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44741) - you deserved it (3464)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40694) - you deserved it (13318)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44047) - you deserved it (4711)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (3824)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44319) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52927) - you deserved it (2922)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML



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