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jessal

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jessal

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 870
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About jessal : I'm easy going and fun. If you want to know more then message me.

jessal's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - yesterday at 2:07am<b>umerin</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:07pm<b>jdhebert</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:44pm<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:17am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:41pm<b>aamir251</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:59pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:04am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:40am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:37am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:39am<b>AGB10</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:16am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:48pm<b>moksha</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:52am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:59am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:44pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:02am

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jessal's favorite FMLs

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44477) - you deserved it (4204)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44977) - you deserved it (14675) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46136) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45015) - you deserved it (23417)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50281) - you deserved it (4048)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44834) - you deserved it (3474)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (13351)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (4717)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36582) - you deserved it (3222)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (3830)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44401) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML



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