Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessaiee

Offline (yesterday at 4:36am) | Search for a member

jessaiee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1222
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jessaiee : jessaiee.blogspot.sg

jessaiee's page activity

Visits<b>Holmes27</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:45pm<b>forevralone</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:18pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:40am<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:16pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 7:11pm<b>acdgal</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 11:01pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 6:33pm<b>Saywat145</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:33pm<b>greasyrhino</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 1:08pm<b>DaDick</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 6:11pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:56pm<b>Mauskau</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:24am<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 11:10am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 12/22/2011 at 1:09am<b>_moden_</b> - the 11/01/2011 at 2:39pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 11/01/2011 at 7:43am

jessaiee's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jessaiee's badges

jessaiee's favorite FMLs

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

#2421163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58634) - you deserved it (5761)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

#2093858
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (96471)

On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (483504) - you deserved it (29303)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

#1101827
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12301) - you deserved it (117801)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML

#942565
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64555) - you deserved it (10554)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38607) - you deserved it (129671)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my 8-year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number key-pad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

#740938
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61949) - you deserved it (9136)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

#385410
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (113621)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

#264253
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (58390)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (150897)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

#211586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82020) - you deserved it (4892)

On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (256237) - you deserved it (59987)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: