jes23

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jes23

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 November 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3230
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jes23 : nothing to say here just to say i'm gonna make some grammar mistakes so you grammar police back off
oh yeah i'm actualy 11 years old

jes23's page activity

Visits<b>KristaleFaith</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:19pm<b>DevinEleven</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 10:15am<b>Cclaura616</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:57am<b>thestoryofmylyf</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 12:19am<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 12:19am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:04pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:15am<b>Ur_REmEdy</b> - the 08/13/2010 at 10:14pm<b>MrsUchiha</b> - the 04/15/2010 at 11:04am<b>Hendrixguy</b> - the 03/21/2010 at 10:43pm<b>Ookami87</b> - the 03/19/2010 at 4:43am<b>Blue_Coconuts</b> - the 03/18/2010 at 7:53pm<b>spermdump</b> - the 03/17/2010 at 3:22pm<b>sintralin</b> - the 03/17/2010 at 11:16am<b>mandark</b> - the 03/16/2010 at 9:57am

jes23's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jes23's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2009 at 1:12am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by NoCookForYou / 08/22/2009 at 2:29am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

by reckless182 / 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

by Lemonhead / 07/21/2009 at 11:19am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

by whatthehell / 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

by Damnlife123 / 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2009 at 9:34am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

by Loho / 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

by whatever / 03/23/2009 at 2:46am / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love