About jes23 : nothing to say here just to say i'm gonna make some grammar mistakes so you grammar police back off
oh yeah i'm actualy 11 years old
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55063) - you deserved it (2643)
On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31864) - you deserved it (3892)
On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)
Today, There was a fire in my building and the fire alarm went off when I was in the shower, I live on the 5th floor and had to run down the stairs naked because the fire was next door. When I got downstairs I got a $500 ticket for public nudity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (7601)
On 08/11/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by BulgaBoi21 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (6311)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45711) - you deserved it (9248)
On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51427) - you deserved it (384)
On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9084) - you deserved it (43115)
On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38674) - you deserved it (568950)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (58772)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67346) - you deserved it (17977)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53772) - you deserved it (2748)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11354) - you deserved it (101754)
On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65836) - you deserved it (22153)
On 03/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12498) - you deserved it (76668)
On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18689) - you deserved it (51604)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by whatever (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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