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jerryj

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jerryj

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2158
  • Number of comments : 307
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jerryj : o hai there...
BANANA BREAD!

jerryj's page activity

Visits<b>JS47</b> - 15 hours ago<b>HarshD9619</b> - yesterday at 11:11am<b>dont_doubt_me</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:03pm<b>DogeMan</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:21pm<b>chrislink</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:57am<b>666lolita666</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:27am<b>Mr116</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:29am<b>flufee2</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:40pm<b>JesusOfNazareth</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:53am<b>jcast0627</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:40am<b>briang959</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:07pm<b>iwanttogotoparis</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:30am<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:34am<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:38am<b>m5ar123</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 4:32pm<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:57am<b>skylerisis</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:07am<b>WorryNot</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 10:39am

Liked!<b>itsme82</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:18pm<b>666lolita666</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:27am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:47pm<b>xsydneyx123</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:33pm<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:54am<b>kayana153</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:30pm

jerryj's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of jerryj's badges

jerryj's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (1920)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

#21286908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (3265)

On 10/28/2014 at 10:07am - misc - by bottombarrel - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (4426)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (4879)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (2696)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (3753)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (27338)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (2853)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (12119)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (3011)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37105) - you deserved it (5871)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

#21279069
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29031) - you deserved it (2532)

On 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm - health - by roidrager (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (51476)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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