jerryj

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Offline (the 05/14/2016 at 11:47am)

jerryj

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9335
  • Number of comments : 465
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jerryj : o hai there...
BANANA BREAD!

jerryj's page activity

Visits<b>Dide9872</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 5:06pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 9:07pm<b>djrodcol</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 6:00pm<b>170107</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:50am<b>3szbkp</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:58pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:42pm<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:57pm<b>amme987</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 11:39am<b>Farklez</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 8:30am<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:53am<b>ssnow</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 5:20pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 4:38pm<b>caaxo</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:17am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:29am<b>MamaChey</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:49pm<b>BI4ze</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:47am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:30am<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:33pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:11am<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:54am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:30pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 2:56am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:44am<b>Zufallian</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:00am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:35pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:33am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:15am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:02am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:53am<b>DanyilK</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:13am<b>lolbjarne</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:14pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:39pm<b>jquaw</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:28am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:53am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:40am

jerryj's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of jerryj's badges

jerryj's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML

by iliana74 / 04/20/2016 at 12:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I asked a short girl to prom by making a "You must be this tall to say no" sign. She grabbed a chair, stood on it, and then said no. FML

by anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the bus, my friends and I gorged ourselves on a ton of candy. When it was my stop, I began to walk to the front of the bus. Upon getting off the bus, I tried to thank the driver with a mouth full of candy. It sounded like I said "Fuck you". FML

by ScratchCatPower / 04/19/2016 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

by Notpunny / 04/18/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend called condoms the "biggest scam in history" and said I won't get pregnant if I just wash myself out with vinegar after we finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 2:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had to accept that I have feelings for a very cute and funny guy. It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was stretching, I realized my hand can reach all the way up to touch the fan, when it was on, and going full speed. FML

by numb fingers / 04/15/2016 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Love

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health

Today, I'd like to thank the genius who scheduled my class in a building which is actively being torn down. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 7:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals