About jerryj : o hai there...
About jerryj : o hai there...
jerryj's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
jerryj's favorite FMLs
by iliana74 / 04/20/2016 at 12:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, on the bus, my friends and I gorged ourselves on a ton of candy. When it was my stop, I began to walk to the front of the bus. Upon getting off the bus, I tried to thank the driver with a mouth full of candy. It sounded like I said "Fuck you". FML
by ScratchCatPower / 04/19/2016 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Notpunny / 04/18/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML
by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 2:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by numb fingers / 04/15/2016 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Love
by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 7:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…