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jerryj

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jerryj

11Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4201
  • Number of comments : 370
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jerryj : o hai there...
BANANA BREAD!

jerryj's page activity

Visits<b>ksks1234</b> - yesterday at 2:34am<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:39am<b>khaoticpanda</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:36am<b>BecauseIAmBatman</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:33am<b>critch</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:21pm<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:13am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:38am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:13am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:57pm<b>QueenOfSuppness</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 5:18am<b>devildog562</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:21am<b>penguinking101</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:19am<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:41pm<b>EskimoCallboy22</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 1:15am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 7:52pm<b>feetlvr</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:10pm<b>ForeignKestrel</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Febrezed</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:47pm

Liked!<b>lolbjarne</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:14pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:39pm<b>jquaw</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:28am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:53am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:40am<b>itsme82</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:18pm<b>666lolita666</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:27am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:47pm<b>xsydneyx123</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:33pm<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:54am<b>kayana153</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:30pm

jerryj's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of jerryj's badges

jerryj's favorite FMLs

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (2314)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39809) - you deserved it (3732)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

#21359155
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29205) - you deserved it (2076)

On 02/19/2015 at 11:24am - work - by Taylor Page - United States (Florida)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (3050)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (8922)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

#21353566
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27881) - you deserved it (2533)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (4269)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14578) - you deserved it (38076)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

#21347765
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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