jerryj

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Offline (the 04/22/2016 at 11:47am)

jerryj

25Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8421
  • Number of comments : 465
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jerryj : o hai there...
BANANA BREAD!

jerryj's page activity

Visits<b>Farklez</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 8:30am<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:53am<b>ssnow</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 5:20pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 4:38pm<b>caaxo</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:17am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:29am<b>MamaChey</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:49pm<b>BI4ze</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:47am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:30am<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:33pm<b>msk1155</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:46pm<b>tj1540</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:08am<b>couchcat</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:26am<b>plastix</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 7:44am<b>ForeignKestrel</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 10:05am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:54pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:30pm

Fucked!<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:54am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:30pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 2:56am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:44am<b>Zufallian</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:00am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:35pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:33am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:15am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:02am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:53am<b>DanyilK</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:13am<b>lolbjarne</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:14pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:39pm<b>jquaw</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:28am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:53am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:40am<b>itsme82</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:18pm

jerryj's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of jerryj's badges

jerryj's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had to accept that I have feelings for a very cute and funny guy. It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was stretching, I realized my hand can reach all the way up to touch the fan, when it was on, and going full speed. FML

by numb fingers / 04/15/2016 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Love

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health

Today, I'd like to thank the genius who scheduled my class in a building which is actively being torn down. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 7:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

by sigh / 04/12/2016 at 10:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

by Crap / 04/12/2016 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

by Koko / 04/07/2016 at 12:07pm / Germany (Berlin) / Animals

Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML

by Stingraybeemonster / 04/07/2016 at 4:51am / Thailand / Miscellaneous

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML

by fishtities / 04/07/2016 at 12:56am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I met my downstairs neighbor after she repeatedly banged on my floor as a way to quiet me down. I guess I'm not allowed to walk on my floor. FML

Today, I forgot an important book for school, because I dreamt that I was putting it in my bag. My brain somehow classified it as reality. This isn't the first time my dreams have trolled me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2016 at 4:13pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous