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jerryj

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jerryj

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1646
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jerryj : o hai there...
BANANA BREAD!

jerryj's page activity

Visits<b>RayneSmytson</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 2:57am<b>fenem</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:27pm<b>csofball7</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:27am<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:42pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:03pm<b>PaulikShah</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:34pm<b>awesomeamandas</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:32am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:24am<b>AlexEsc11</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:36pm<b>Smeelover27</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:52am<b>katydid91</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:37pm<b>BlockOfRedStone</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 7:51pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:50pm<b>feven</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:29pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:43pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:31pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:28pm

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jerryj's favorite FMLs

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (6222)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (2604)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (9378)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34968) - you deserved it (5933)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40270) - you deserved it (7149)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39548) - you deserved it (5581)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31887) - you deserved it (8768)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (22828)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

#21234068
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you deserved it (8382)

On 08/10/2014 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38835) - you deserved it (6073)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

#21232320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33156) - you deserved it (11162)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:40am - love - by alisaav (woman) - Thailand

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

#21231087
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (5507)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by poolfail -

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (44487)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37280) - you deserved it (4262)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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