Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jerryj

Online | Search for a member

jerryj

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1931
  • Number of comments : 276
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jerryj : o hai there...
BANANA BREAD!

jerryj's page activity

Visits<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:30am<b>Mini96</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:45pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:30pm<b>edvin</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 1:55pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 1:48pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:25pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:56am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 9:18pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:16pm<b>flohsch</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Psychicgirl17</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:19pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Jessica00</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:05am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:35am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:56pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 6:09pm<b>lisslyi</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 6:38am

Liked!<b>kayana153</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:30pm

jerryj's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of jerryj's badges

jerryj's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (3182)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (3797)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (2381)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31743) - you deserved it (7620)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39856) - you deserved it (4308)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

#21258099
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (6397)

On 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by HiImAlfredo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (4400)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35075) - you deserved it (2915)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42595) - you deserved it (3180)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46765) - you deserved it (3795)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (5432)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50512) - you deserved it (9720)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40404) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: