jerico616

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Offline (the 11/12/2015 at 5:00pm)

jerico616

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 June 1978 (38 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1111
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jerico616 : Engineer

jerico616's page activity

Visits<b>grahamcraka</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 9:52am<b>mariokart21134</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 5:48pm<b>Logomog</b> - the 10/02/2011 at 2:32pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 10:50am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>01eclipse</b> - the 09/07/2011 at 2:57pm<b>auriane</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 1:35pm<b>EnEl_Infierno</b> - the 08/22/2011 at 12:45pm

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You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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jerico616's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

by sickly / 02/18/2011 at 8:06am / Work

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

by justmyluck? / 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

by clashgurl8449 / 02/17/2011 at 3:08am / Health

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

by no more tp / 02/17/2011 at 1:22am / Health

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

by CandyMachine / 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 1:38am / Iraq / Work

Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm / Italy / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

by Laura / 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm / Kids

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous