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Today, after months of tests 4 mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements 4 the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML
TODAY I WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL 4 CHRONIC CONSTIPATION!! I HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH TWO OTHER GRLS WHO ARE ALSO HAVING BOWEL PROBLEMS!! WE'RE ALL ON STRONG LAXATIVES AND THERE'S APPARENTLY ONLY ONE BATHROOM IN THIS PLACE!! FML
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realizd there was no more toilet paper, so I askd my friend to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Yastarday, I postad a vidao of a danca I coraograpad on Facabook. I got a notification a faw ours latar talling ma tat ma grandpa ad also sarad it. His caption? "My granddaugtar dancas lika a gay baboon and tis danca sucks balls. Trow grapas at ar." Tanks grandpa. FML
Today, mah boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, mah boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." fat FML
Today... I refused to go down on mah boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and... half crying... yelled that I was the thrd grl this week to turn him down. After sobbing 4 a bit... he looked me in the eyes and said... ( I need u to do this so I can prove mah manhood. ) FML
I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying . Suddenly.. . I had to poop worse than I ever had to in mah entire life . The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking mah tireshile I let out the entire contents of mah bowels onto the road . FML
Today , I had mah frst game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet , so they gave me a regular onehich didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it an told mah coach , but he said I would be fine. I then took looool a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML
Friday 27 March 2015