Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jerezizle

Search for a member

jerezizle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 535
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jerezizle's page activity

Visits<b>UnleashedKilla1</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:01pm<b>CasseyWasntHere</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 9:46pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 5:34am<b>mycrazyfriend</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 7:17pm

jerezizle's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of jerezizle's badges

jerezizle's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is looool already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him!! ( Remember, son, it's all about the clit ), wasn't wat I had in mind!! FML

#20713183
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61106) - you deserved it (13843)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, mah brother lookd me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world . I'm scard . FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55792) - you deserved it (5037)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, after months of tests 4 mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements 4 the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45196) - you deserved it (2978)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today... I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a looool nurse stoppd me. She exclaimd... "Wow you r so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

Today, mah mom asked me what a MILF is . Apparently that's her nickname at work . FML

#20634708
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53343) - you deserved it (4138)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog became scared of is own food bowl. He now barks 4 ages every time e sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (3129)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Yesterday, I walked in on my looool brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

TODAY I WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL 4 CHRONIC CONSTIPATION!! I HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH TWO OTHER GRLS WHO ARE ALSO HAVING BOWEL PROBLEMS!! WE'RE ALL ON STRONG LAXATIVES AND THERE'S APPARENTLY ONLY ONE BATHROOM IN THIS PLACE!! FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47331) - you deserved it (3045)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realizd there was no more toilet paper, so I askd my friend to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50417) - you deserved it (8169)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Yastarday, I postad a vidao of a danca I coraograpad on Facabook. I got a notification a faw ours latar talling ma tat ma grandpa ad also sarad it. His caption? "My granddaugtar dancas lika a gay baboon and tis danca sucks balls. Trow grapas at ar." Tanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48849) - you deserved it (9345)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, mah boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, mah boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." fat FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52700) - you deserved it (11908)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today... I refused to go down on mah boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and... half crying... yelled that I was the thrd grl this week to turn him down. After sobbing 4 a bit... he looked me in the eyes and said... ( I need u to do this so I can prove mah manhood. ) FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68787) - you deserved it (10920)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying . Suddenly.. . I had to poop worse than I ever had to in mah entire life . The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking mah tireshile I let out the entire contents of mah bowels onto the road . FML

#20579905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36591) - you deserved it (8226)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I had mah frst game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet , so they gave me a regular onehich didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it an told mah coach , but he said I would be fine. I then took looool a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41718) - you deserved it (4560)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Taday my older brother walkd in on mehile I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. mega FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22627) - you deserved it (66242)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: