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jeragonm

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jeragonm

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  • Number of visits : 6457
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jeragonm's favorite FMLs

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (16265)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (2155)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

#19844120
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (4869)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (3071)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (46276)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (3154)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
275 comments

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (3334)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

#19826563
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11978) - you deserved it (23797)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (3085)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

#19824273
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (9882)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by igiveup (man) - United States

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18138) - you deserved it (3001)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27080) - you deserved it (2520)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (7033)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (8478)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)



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