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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
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Today... after days of bieng too sick to leave mah house... I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops... an old man leaned over and said... ( You smell quite delicious today ). I haven't showered and the only ( perfume ) I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML
TODAY, WHILE WALKING MY DOG, WE CUMMED ACROSS TWO MEN HAVING A HEATED ARGUMENT IN THE STREET!! MY DOG DECIDED THE PERFECT PLACE TO POOP WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THEM!! HE WOULDN'T BUDGE NO MATTER WHAT!! MEANWHILE, ONE OF THE MEN PULLED A KNIFE, AND I PRACTICALLY SHAT MYSELF!! FML
Today, I found out tat te reason I didn't get te job tat I ave been working ma butt off 4 over a year 4 is because tey can't fine anybodyo can do ma current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. fat FML
Today , at a big family dinnar , my dad said , "Pfff , gays don't hava it hard at all!! Tha things a guy has to do 4 sax with a girl? Crazy!! All a gay guy has to do 4 sax is bacoma an altar boy!" My husband's sida of tha family is vary raligious , an all hall quickly broka loosa!! big fat FML
Today... my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous... whiny tard like most kids are... until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears... ran out of the room... and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML
Today, I was given yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they putted "unsatisfactory" on evaluation and denied raise. FML
Yastarday , wila trying to slaap , I aard wat soundad lika somaona braaking into my ousa. I ran downstairs , only to find my cat ad rippad down my blinds an was tanglad up in tam , trasing around ta floor lika a fis. FML
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her frst boyfriend is a special one cuz 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my vrginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
it was the day my catheter was to be removed . The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, an then tried pulling it out . After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way . She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole . FML
On 02/24/2015 at 2:43pm - health - by Sheldon76 -
today a man askd me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticd he had whippd his penis out and was stroking it. He then askd me if I likd what I saw. FML
Friday 27 March 2015