jenny919

Search for a member

jenny919

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7442
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About jenny919 : I like turtles

jenny919's page activity

Visits<b>15Erik</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:58am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:44pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 12:07am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:57pm<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:12pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:57am<b>bugfroggy</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:18pm<b>feldco1</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 3:41am<b>itscare1217</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:10am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:04pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 11:56pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:21pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:13pm<b>A07</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:25am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:39pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 4:22pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:12pm

jenny919's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jenny919's badges

jenny919's favorite FMLs

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

by CaoNiMa / 03/26/2009 at 11:42am / China (Beijing) / Kids

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

by Alex / 03/26/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

by willywonks / 03/21/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

by firsttimer69 / 03/20/2009 at 2:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

by kaichennnxx / 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

by marsbar / 03/15/2009 at 1:07am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

by SwedishBozo / 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

by SwedishBozo / 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 11:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy