Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jenny919

Search for a member

jenny919
  • Town/Country : Bradford, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2636
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About jenny919 : I like turtles

jenny919's last visitors

MxAxRxCxOomgbrainZMacKieDoodlePerSueTwo513bugfroggyfeldco1Booda_Shunitscare1217KRAZYKILLAKLOWNolpallykrupa1017loriprieto

jenny919's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jenny919's badges

jenny919's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48545) - you deserved it (17270)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329015) - you deserved it (35701)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67336) - you deserved it (23877)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

#620278
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (66098)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12966) - you deserved it (56902)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132403) - you deserved it (4960)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (103176)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125985) - you deserved it (12185)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

#399721
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48588) - you deserved it (27632)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

#334226
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53803) - you deserved it (17761)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by marsbar (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (269413)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (269413)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64694) - you deserved it (26096)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

#301590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46768) - you deserved it (11253)

On 03/13/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: