jenny919

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jenny919

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10746
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About jenny919 : I like turtles

jenny919's page activity

Visits<b>15Erik</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:58am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:44pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 12:07am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:57pm<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:12pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:57am<b>bugfroggy</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:18pm<b>feldco1</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 3:41am<b>itscare1217</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:10am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:04pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 11:56pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:21pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:13pm<b>A07</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:25am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:39pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 4:22pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:12pm

jenny919's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jenny919's badges

jenny919's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

by shallowvomit1013 / 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

by eatmyshipoopie / 12/18/2009 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Intimacy

Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML

by epiiphany / 12/16/2009 at 6:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

by luckygirl / 12/14/2009 at 4:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

by WIIslave / 12/14/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

by ps3isbetterthanme / 12/11/2009 at 11:44am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

by dayum / 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm / Mexico (Chihuahua) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

by smart phone mms / 12/07/2009 at 1:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

by xXxJoe16xXx / 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 11:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm / United States / Work

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

by PiaNO / 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

by Volume_control / 11/10/2009 at 9:41am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health