About jenny919 : I like turtles
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Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (4826)
On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (1829)
On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (2937)
On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (21158)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (2462)
On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (2793)
On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (3399)
On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States
Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (4777)
On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -
Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14979) - you deserved it (19192)
On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
I agree, your life sucks (39267) - you deserved it (4378)
On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (31685)
On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (3706)
On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13112) - you deserved it (18068)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20707) - you deserved it (37562)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (3822)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:34pm - animals - by brentkd - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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