About jenny919 : I like turtles
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (6593)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (2594)
On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States
Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (2793)
On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (5287)
On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (2454)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15261) - you deserved it (4537)
On 02/28/2010 at 1:31am - health - by annonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11128) - you deserved it (2776)
On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (1584)
On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15040) - you deserved it (1568)
On 02/10/2010 at 10:10am - misc - by Krit - United States
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8048) - you deserved it (23460)
On 02/08/2010 at 5:52am - health - by preggers (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22330) - you deserved it (6491)
On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (2627)
On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (2331)
On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12386) - you deserved it (60225)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6100) - you deserved it (34998)
On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
