Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jenny919

Search for a member

jenny919
  • Town/Country : Bradford, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2650
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About jenny919 : I like turtles

jenny919's last visitors

MxAxRxCxOomgbrainZMacKieDoodlePerSueTwo513bugfroggyfeldco1Booda_Shunitscare1217KRAZYKILLAKLOWNolpallykrupa1017loriprieto

jenny919's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jenny919's badges

jenny919's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53267) - you deserved it (9957)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

#16283076
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31899) - you deserved it (4208)

On 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by hahanosirr (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37869) - you deserved it (3941)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31063) - you deserved it (14023)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML

#16136460
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31758) - you deserved it (11606)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:20pm - health - by anonymous -

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10840) - you deserved it (51196)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (6997)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (48651)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43034) - you deserved it (4651)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

#15919634
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (4260)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (6376)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7587) - you deserved it (70438)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML

#15649522
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10144) - you deserved it (28728)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by RedFace (woman) - United States

Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML

#15366691
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (8420)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: