About jenny919 : I like turtles
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Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8779) - you deserved it (25957)
On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (2844)
On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version
I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (3606)
On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31456) - you deserved it (6361)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32272) - you deserved it (2782)
On 10/16/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17926) - you deserved it (8005)
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18721) - you deserved it (9559)
On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (4822)
On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (1826)
On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39542) - you deserved it (2936)
On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (21138)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (2459)
On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26763) - you deserved it (2351)
On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (3396)
On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States
Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24739) - you deserved it (4773)
On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -
Friday 24 May 2013
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