About jenny919 : I like turtles
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Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23521) - you deserved it (2721)
On 03/16/2011 at 8:50pm - kids - by Abeille (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20469) - you deserved it (5190)
On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
I agree, your life sucks (10954) - you deserved it (36938)
On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)
Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7654) - you deserved it (57420)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (3578)
On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (7482)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29269) - you deserved it (3389)
On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32095) - you deserved it (2417)
On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27535) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (3448) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13316) - you deserved it (32014) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36548) - you deserved it (2261) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9321) - you deserved it (25642)
On 01/15/2011 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (2683)
On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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