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jenny919

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jenny919
  • Town/Country : Bradford, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2629
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About jenny919 : I like turtles

jenny919's last visitors

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jenny919's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jenny919's badges

jenny919's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54385) - you deserved it (10837)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48322) - you deserved it (57901)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

#20710993
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38720) - you deserved it (4701)

On 06/07/2013 at 12:33am - animals - by Damn Cat - United States (Iowa)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49153) - you deserved it (3346)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (2782)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44076) - you deserved it (7777)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54508) - you deserved it (5854)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (13008)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51480) - you deserved it (12812)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (4543)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74552) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (60743)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51818) - you deserved it (4650)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49482) - you deserved it (14977)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (6804)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)



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