jenny919

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jenny919

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7377
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About jenny919 : I like turtles

jenny919's page activity

Visits<b>15Erik</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:58am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:44pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 12:07am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 8:57pm<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:12pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:57am<b>bugfroggy</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:18pm<b>feldco1</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 3:41am<b>itscare1217</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:10am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:04pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 11:56pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:21pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:13pm<b>A07</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:25am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:39pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 4:22pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:12pm

jenny919's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jenny919's badges

jenny919's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

by EpicJman2828 / 06/27/2013 at 12:27am / United States / Animals

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

by woof woof?? / 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 12:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

by I fathered a pussy. / 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy