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Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written ( Obama is a beautiful chocolate man ) to every essay question. FML
Today , I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly , but they were inside the building , which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside , in front of a crowd of onlookers. real FML
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My grlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retractd high-five. Then I panickd, cuppd his fist and ran. FML
Today, I ad to take a dump . Wile looking for a book to read, I sneezd . Te force of te sneeze causd me to sit my pants . Te glob of dung ten ran down my leg before falling out of my sort onto my carpet, all in less tan 5 seconds . Noting in my life as prepard me for tis . FML
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think!! When I was done I asked fir questions!! A kid says, "Miss, I get that your not into being cool, but your wearing your pants inside out.' He was right!! FML
Yesterday, mom told boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to master bait in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chair and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if mom was there to make me stop. fat FML
at tha dantist... I was gatting my taath claanad. Looking up at his nosa... I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I triad to slowly mova away. Ha told ma ( Stop! ) Tha movamant of his lips causad tha snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Friday 27 March 2015