I'm Jenna, obviously.
Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56550) - you totally deserved it (2424)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45990) - you totally deserved it (2011)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you totally deserved it (1641)
On 06/15/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Tom (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71225) - you totally deserved it (2107)
On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23277) - you totally deserved it (37530)
On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you totally deserved it (27757)
On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13433) - you totally deserved it (61907)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
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