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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jenn9854

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jenn9854
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, ca
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 December 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 10950
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jenn9854 : I'm me.
I'm in college!
I'm awesomely jenn.
=]
jennyjennjenn@yahoo.com

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jenn9854's favorite FMLs

Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML

#1493911 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (47661)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

#1479703 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (66030) - you deserved it (2637)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

#1475215 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (83435) - you deserved it (11705)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

#1409233 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (11335) - you deserved it (36061)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:38pm - animals - by youwouldbeacat - United States (Oregon)

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

#904646 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (169550) - you deserved it (20911)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML

#902467 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (119959) - you deserved it (40186)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (210182)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML

#867066 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (56804) - you deserved it (8437)

On 04/08/2009 at 3:19am - love - by DL06 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (100977) - you deserved it (9676)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (154528) - you deserved it (18173)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (154964) - you deserved it (19180)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)