About jenamalone : I like your profile if you view mine. Trans boy, anime fan, BLARG?
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jenamalone's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, my mom mentioned how she loves certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 6:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
by Grandmas lost it / 08/28/2013 at 12:48am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by YayItsYasmine / 08/14/2013 at 12:48pm / Austria (Karnten) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
by couch girl / 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm / Singapore / Work
by kittybad / 06/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
by Fuperman / 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm / France (Lorraine) / Health
by those_allergies / 05/12/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by bill219 / 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML
by onlyslightly / 11/30/2012 at 3:33am / United States / Work
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mom accidentally hit my dog. She didn't see him and she felt so bad. She started cuddling… Today, I was woken up around 2 in the morning to my father entering my room to urinate in the cat… Today, while showing a group of guys my heavy bag routine at the gym, I attempted to perform a high…