Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jenamalone

Online | Search for a member

jenamalone

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 546
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About jenamalone : JUNKO ENOSHIMA DID NOTHING WRONG

jenamalone's page activity

Visits<b>tonyrules</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:06pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:19am<b>caterinette</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:03pm<b>facelick</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:03pm<b>Paris25</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:40pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:38pm<b>moulchlo</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:22pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:09pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:03pm<b>JayBunny</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:08pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:41pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:00pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:21pm<b>fuckyourlifeOP</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Alwaysalone19</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Treken</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:39am

jenamalone's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of jenamalone's badges

jenamalone's favorite FMLs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49335) - you deserved it (9284)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49241) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (4070)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

#20863518
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (18062)

On 09/01/2013 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

#20857413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (3100)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
189 comments

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

#20746334
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39610) - you deserved it (3516)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by couch girl - Singapore

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47621) - you deserved it (3941)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49993) - you deserved it (11645)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

#20702129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44552) - you deserved it (6179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm - health - by Fuperman - France (Lorraine)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46972) - you deserved it (3896)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (12325)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30723) - you deserved it (22755)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20859) - you deserved it (4101)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (2656)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: