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jellyshoes11's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, at work, I refused a customer a refund because there was nothing wrong with the item, and she didn't have the packaging. I then watched as she and her son rummaged through a public bin for the packaging. When I refused her again, she called me a "fucking idiot". FML
by mando / 10/06/2011 at 11:14am / Australia / Work
by grubbieduc / 10/06/2011 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML
by lostlove / 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy
by bob / 09/11/2011 at 11:15am / United States (New Mexico) / Health
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex father in law. FML
by abbacjt / 01/16/2009 at 12:51pm / United States (California) / Love
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- Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he… Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't… Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we…