jellyomg

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jellyomg

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1516
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jellyomg's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:27pm<b>bakergirll</b> - the 06/15/2011 at 7:43am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:19am<b>ColdBlackLies</b> - the 01/10/2011 at 1:02am<b>CaptenAwesomeXD</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 10:32am<b>LilAfo</b> - the 11/04/2010 at 9:37am<b>caraphernelia</b> - the 11/03/2010 at 4:22pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 8:41pm<b>yankeeskid</b> - the 10/16/2010 at 10:50pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 10/11/2010 at 10:50am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 10/11/2010 at 12:37am

jellyomg's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jellyomg's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

by ITguy1982 / 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

by WeezysBaby / 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

by TuralSucks / 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous