jellyomg

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jellyomg

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1440
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jellyomg's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:27pm<b>bakergirll</b> - the 06/15/2011 at 7:43am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:19am<b>ColdBlackLies</b> - the 01/10/2011 at 1:02am<b>CaptenAwesomeXD</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 10:32am<b>LilAfo</b> - the 11/04/2010 at 9:37am<b>caraphernelia</b> - the 11/03/2010 at 4:22pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 8:41pm<b>yankeeskid</b> - the 10/16/2010 at 10:50pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 10/11/2010 at 10:50am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 10/11/2010 at 12:37am

jellyomg's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jellyomg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 12:59am / United States / Health

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

by EffinAhole / 10/03/2010 at 12:27am / Intimacy

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

by Jake / 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

by Username / 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

by lovelife / 09/27/2010 at 9:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

by urgg / 09/05/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

by Sexylarry / 09/03/2010 at 3:42pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2010 at 5:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

by Chris / 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

by samantha / 01/27/2010 at 9:05am / Singapore / Miscellaneous