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jellyfish_735

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jellyfish_735

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2502
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellyfish_735 : love enjoying life by laughing :D

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jellyfish_735's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (5152)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

#14071239
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38913) - you deserved it (6983)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

#13777488
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (6650)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by redlips - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49855) - you deserved it (9444)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (2377)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46041) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41363) - you deserved it (8165)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (7695)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

#13754319
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29182) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

#13701417
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13752) - you deserved it (27186)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

#13699174
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (4677)

On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML

#13697546
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (7702)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:40am - intimacy - by spockswifey - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31083) - you deserved it (10483)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

#13694009
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (2456)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm - work - by werewolfoflondon (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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