jellybeens

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Offline (the 12/03/2014 at 2:51am)

jellybeens

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 September 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1135
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jellybeens : Go awey ;-;

jellybeens's page activity

Visits<b>M3DO</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:16am<b>khewanlala</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 8:35pm<b>Fanimotronic</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:03am<b>MikkiMarie</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:36pm<b>XxNonExistentxX</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 6:57am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:37pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:21pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Edlaro</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:09am<b>SydneyLarae</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:18am<b>steftriv</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 10:59am<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:32pm<b>hard_candy</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 4:42pm<b>jks0308</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:01pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:44am<b>josephinema</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 8:21pm<b>bombielol</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:31am<b>VMG</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:39pm

Fucked!<b>SuperDani</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:18pm

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jellybeens's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

by goodmorning / 09/07/2014 at 9:45am / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

by stillhurting / 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

by heightdifference / 11/28/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

by the_lameo_geek / 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

by BaliTheDog / 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm / France / Animals

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

by TJ / 08/08/2012 at 7:23am / United States (Washington) / Work