Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jelly_bennett

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

jelly_bennett

36Fucked!

jelly_bennettjelly_bennett
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 January 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 785
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jelly_bennett : Swiggity Swooty

jelly_bennett's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 20 hours ago<b>A07</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:26am<b>FlyingMoonLady</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:56pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:42pm<b>frostedfoster</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:24am<b>Unbearable</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:39pm<b>shawnsmuffins</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:32pm<b>codayday</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:21pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:44pm<b>angiemarie96</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 12:57am<b>TheMafu</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:34am<b>mwali02</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:09pm<b>isabelf</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:49am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:03am<b>alecspangler</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:58am<b>RayRey009</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:49pm

Fucked!<b>A07</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:26am<b>mwali02</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:09am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:07pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:07am<b>byattwain</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:45am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 9:06am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:43pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:36pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 5:28pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 9:13am<b>sk8_king</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:59am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:44am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:04pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 12:07pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:23am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 3:31am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:05am

jelly_bennett's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of jelly_bennett's badges

jelly_bennett's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

#21424629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (10598)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:29pm - misc - by Bigbaby - United States (California)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (8604)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, I found out that my boss of 2 years not only doesn't know my name, but calls me "Jew hair" behind my back because of my natural ringlets. This man determines all of my career progression. FML

#21423649
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23317) - you deserved it (1532)

On 06/09/2015 at 11:21pm - work - by hmdge1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (4028)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

#21414914
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (2261)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31623) - you deserved it (2796)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33129) - you deserved it (2588)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30357) - you deserved it (2709)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (36724)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (4633)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (5465)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30707) - you deserved it (2306)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (9602)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (17998)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: