jellitonoctopus

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Offline (the 06/20/2015 at 10:33pm)

jellitonoctopus

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5100
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : It all begins with a lighthouse.

jellitonoctopus's page activity

Visits<b>smeegle</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:13pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 8:52pm<b>super_ness</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:12am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 12:49am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 9:08pm<b>bethkelchner</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:39pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:23pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:15am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:35am<b>pharm121</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:10pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:31pm<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:59am<b>PurpZilla</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:00am<b>bekkyisawesome</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:57pm<b>skyturtle</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:24am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:30pm<b>RainbowSkullfuck</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Applesarefum</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:49am

Fucked!<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:54am

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jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

by KillMeNow / 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United Kingdom (Sefton) / Kids

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

by Unemployed / 10/16/2011 at 3:15am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

by Unemployed / 10/16/2011 at 3:15am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was watching my cousin shoot at targets on hay bales with his plastic pellet BB gun. After my sister asked him if it would hurt to be shot with one, my cousin smiled at her and said, "Ask your sister" as he shot me in the leg. I think my screaming was obvious enough. It hurts. FML

by ThanksChris / 10/16/2011 at 3:06am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was kicked out of the mall along with a bunch of my friends, sworn at by the security guards, and personally escorted all the way to the sidewalk, only to find out we'd been mistaken for another group of people. FML

by -- / 10/15/2011 at 7:40pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML

by dak-rod423 / 10/15/2011 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

by TurtleTeacher / 10/14/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Alaska) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

by serenti / 10/13/2011 at 5:30pm / Sweden / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

by Eet- / 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

by dust1535538 / 10/13/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

by Doglover / 10/13/2011 at 11:55am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Animals