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jellitonoctopus

Offline (the 08/12/2014 at 6:55am) | Search for a member

jellitonoctopus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2343
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : It all begins with a lighthouse.

jellitonoctopus's page activity

Visits<b>PurpZilla</b> - 23 hours ago<b>bekkyisawesome</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:57pm<b>skyturtle</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:24am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:30pm<b>RainbowSkullfuck</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Applesarefum</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:49am<b>coopchick</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:12am<b>lishabear</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:38am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:08am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:39am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:22pm<b>KimberlyRose329</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:20pm<b>kaitlin_miller01</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 3:21am<b>reefnerd</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:30am<b>brand125</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 3:57am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:59am<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Flaminrazor</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:22am

jellitonoctopus's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

#18092758
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28370) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

#18092215
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19783) - you deserved it (1989)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13584) - you deserved it (34726)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34203) - you deserved it (8079)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

#18062520
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45217) - you deserved it (2658)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by lonely - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

#18051184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (7953)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10990) - you deserved it (37488)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (33282)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

#18034258
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (2455)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

#18030008
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (4249)

On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9938) - you deserved it (58937)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

#18025254
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21560) - you deserved it (8887)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (2873)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28631) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (9185)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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