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jellitonoctopus

Offline (the 04/12/2015 at 7:06pm) | Search for a member

jellitonoctopus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3518
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : It all begins with a lighthouse.

jellitonoctopus's page activity

Visits<b>bethkelchner</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:39pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:23pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:15am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:35am<b>pharm121</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:10pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:31pm<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:59am<b>PurpZilla</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:00am<b>bekkyisawesome</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:57pm<b>skyturtle</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:24am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:30pm<b>RainbowSkullfuck</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Applesarefum</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:49am<b>coopchick</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:12am<b>lishabear</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:38am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:08am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:39am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:22pm

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jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (2092)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41648) - you deserved it (7209)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

#18210187
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47701) - you deserved it (3470)

On 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Nicoli - United States (Washington)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (7082)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (2446)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (3870)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I had botox injections to stop my face sweating so much. Now the sweat is almost gone, but my facial expression seems to be stuck on "baffled." FML

#18189475
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11560) - you deserved it (33509)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (3321)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39134) - you deserved it (5287)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (6770)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (47087)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (4164)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (4164)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

#18097462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (4928)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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