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jellitonoctopus

Offline (the 11/16/2014 at 4:58pm) | Search for a member

jellitonoctopus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2743
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : It all begins with a lighthouse.

jellitonoctopus's page activity

Visits<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:31pm<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:59am<b>PurpZilla</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:00am<b>bekkyisawesome</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:57pm<b>skyturtle</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:24am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:30pm<b>RainbowSkullfuck</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Applesarefum</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:49am<b>coopchick</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:12am<b>lishabear</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:38am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:08am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:39am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:22pm<b>KimberlyRose329</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:20pm<b>kaitlin_miller01</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 3:21am<b>reefnerd</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:30am<b>brand125</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 3:57am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:59am

jellitonoctopus's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30131) - you deserved it (3311)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (2848)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35245) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22751) - you deserved it (4934)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (9741)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26718) - you deserved it (8608)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (3948)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher; I've already given students detention for falling asleep in class this year. FML

#18765510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6883) - you deserved it (37163)

On 01/10/2012 at 9:50am - work - by nevasurprised - Germany

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

#18661224
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (5951)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43115) - you deserved it (9131)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17514) - you deserved it (27094) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (3106)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (50294)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (3147)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)



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