About jellitonoctopus : It all begins with a lighthouse.
jellitonoctopus's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs
by Shameful / 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML
by harshdoobie / 01/18/2012 at 10:18am / Canada / Health
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
by littlelottie / 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 1:43am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML
by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML
by doctorsandnurses / 01/13/2012 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
by nevasurprised / 01/10/2012 at 9:50am / Germany / Work
by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals
by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by Kevin / 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Love
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
by Sleep Deprived / 12/25/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
by unwanted / 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Florida) / Love