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jellitonoctopus

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jellitonoctopus
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1951
  • Number of comments : 158
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : Hey! Thanks for stopping by.
I like:
The Legend of Zelda
Pokémon
Final Fantasy
Tales of Vesperia
Animal Crossing
Nintendo
Xbox
Opossums
Salamanders
Beatles and other cute insects
Ocean life
Dental hygiene/ care
&YOU!

I dislike:
Weather that is hot and humid at the same time
People who mistake Link as Zelda
Dry skin
Eggplant
Pumpkin
Centipedes
& dust.


I usually browse FML on my iPhone, but feel free to message me. I do check my messages when I use my laptop.

BYE!!! :)

jellitonoctopus's last visitors

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jellitonoctopus's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23686) - you deserved it (7492)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

#19222204
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7659) - you deserved it (22719)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

#19220268
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13544) - you deserved it (1502)

On 03/05/2012 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14532) - you deserved it (1219)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

#19186705
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23398) - you deserved it (1962)

On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (1990)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (1923)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9567) - you deserved it (32157)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

#19138431
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5297) - you deserved it (33692)

On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (5416)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I couldn’t have a conversation with my fiancé unless it was about Dragon Ball Z. FML

#19122021
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18231) - you deserved it (6324)

On 02/20/2012 at 10:53am - love - by DBZ (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML

#19103032
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (5778)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML

#19103032
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (5778)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (5317)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (6536)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)



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