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jellitonoctopus

Offline (the 12/02/2014 at 6:41am) | Search for a member

jellitonoctopus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2821
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : It all begins with a lighthouse.

jellitonoctopus's page activity

Visits<b>Jthewat</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:21pm<b>pharm121</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:10pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:31pm<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:59am<b>PurpZilla</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:00am<b>bekkyisawesome</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:57pm<b>skyturtle</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:24am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:30pm<b>RainbowSkullfuck</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Applesarefum</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:49am<b>coopchick</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:12am<b>lishabear</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:38am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:08am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:39am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:22pm<b>KimberlyRose329</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:20pm<b>kaitlin_miller01</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 3:21am<b>reefnerd</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:30am

jellitonoctopus's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML

#17680068
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25695) - you deserved it (2385)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by lopsided - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28518) - you deserved it (11898)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States

Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML

#17679338
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6974) - you deserved it (48856)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:17am - misc - by ss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML

#17679338
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6974) - you deserved it (48856)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:17am - misc - by ss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (2672)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25888) - you deserved it (9398)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (2716)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

#17658783
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27630) - you deserved it (2108)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by brownieswillneverbethesame (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (3048)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

#17643639
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (3866)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:56am - animals - by PghSportsNation - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (3758)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

#17642132
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27514) - you deserved it (3908)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8673) - you deserved it (28510)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30937) - you deserved it (4182)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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