About jellitonoctopus : Hey! Thanks for stopping by.
I like:
The Legend of Zelda
Pokémon
Final Fantasy
Tales of Vesperia
Animal Crossing
Nintendo
Xbox
Opossums
Salamanders
Beatles and other cute insects
Ocean life
Dental hygiene/ care
&YOU!
I dislike:
Weather that is hot and humid at the same time
People who mistake Link as Zelda
Dry skin
Eggplant
Pumpkin
Centipedes
& dust.
I usually browse FML on my iPhone, but feel free to message me. I do check my messages when I use my laptop.
BYE!!! :)
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (1883)
On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71629) - you deserved it (9141)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (1959)
On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17560) - you deserved it (1778)
On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States
Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (1486)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (2706)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:15am - health - by bob - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25223) - you deserved it (1751)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17457) - you deserved it (4293)
On 09/09/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25746) - you deserved it (2850)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28910) - you deserved it (3191)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28276) - you deserved it (3192)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6141) - you deserved it (44173)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32689) - you deserved it (8561)
On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)
Today, I put my cat in the tub for a bath, as he rolled around in some mud. The second I put my hand on the faucet to turn the water on, he screamed, rather loudly. I yelled in shock, which must have scared him further, as he vigorously attacked my face and pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (10042)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:47pm - animals - by GEFStryker - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19518) - you deserved it (5182)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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