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jellitonoctopus

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jellitonoctopus
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1955
  • Number of comments : 158
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : Hey! Thanks for stopping by.
I like:
The Legend of Zelda
Pokémon
Final Fantasy
Tales of Vesperia
Animal Crossing
Nintendo
Xbox
Opossums
Salamanders
Beatles and other cute insects
Ocean life
Dental hygiene/ care
&YOU!

I dislike:
Weather that is hot and humid at the same time
People who mistake Link as Zelda
Dry skin
Eggplant
Pumpkin
Centipedes
& dust.


I usually browse FML on my iPhone, but feel free to message me. I do check my messages when I use my laptop.

BYE!!! :)

jellitonoctopus's last visitors

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jellitonoctopus's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80449) - you deserved it (11872)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (2182)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

#17725574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19446) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34691) - you deserved it (2049)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML

#17718779
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (3504)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:15am - health - by bob - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (2304)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML

#17705736
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19408) - you deserved it (5371)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34875) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31377) - you deserved it (3966)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (56187)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33430) - you deserved it (8638)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (6685)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

#17685680
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (8634)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML

#17680068
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21891) - you deserved it (2047)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by lopsided - United States



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