Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jellitonoctopus

Search for a member

jellitonoctopus
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 October 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1954
  • Number of comments : 158
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : Hey! Thanks for stopping by.
I like:
The Legend of Zelda
Pokémon
Final Fantasy
Tales of Vesperia
Animal Crossing
Nintendo
Xbox
Opossums
Salamanders
Beatles and other cute insects
Ocean life
Dental hygiene/ care
&YOU!

I dislike:
Weather that is hot and humid at the same time
People who mistake Link as Zelda
Dry skin
Eggplant
Pumpkin
Centipedes
& dust.


I usually browse FML on my iPhone, but feel free to message me. I do check my messages when I use my laptop.

BYE!!! :)

jellitonoctopus's last visitors

meepmerpladystateCloudBustahEdaPandaKitty19legendaryplyaHowAreYouTodayslick5880

jellitonoctopus's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of jellitonoctopus's badges

jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

#17756781
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22561) - you deserved it (4203)

On 09/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by QuickieGirl - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#17756574
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (9617)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by sweatstreaks - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I told my husband that I wanted him to stay sober during the week. He responded by saying he wanted me to be a supermodel during the week. FML

#17755758
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (8581)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:15am - love - by brinn - United States (California)

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29830) - you deserved it (5467)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29830) - you deserved it (5467)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

#17748874
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (2440)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:42am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

#17744289
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21189) - you deserved it (3921)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32901) - you deserved it (2264)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (4867)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (11094)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell. FML

#17737171
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (5378)

On 09/13/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by jake (man) - United States

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

#17734808
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (4380)

On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

#17729404
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (2927)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

#17728264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (2341)

On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: