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jellitonoctopus

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 9:22am) | Search for a member

jellitonoctopus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2589
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jellitonoctopus : It all begins with a lighthouse.

jellitonoctopus's page activity

Visits<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:59am<b>PurpZilla</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:00am<b>bekkyisawesome</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:57pm<b>skyturtle</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:24am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:30pm<b>RainbowSkullfuck</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Applesarefum</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:49am<b>coopchick</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:12am<b>lishabear</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:38am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:08am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:39am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:22pm<b>KimberlyRose329</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:20pm<b>kaitlin_miller01</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 3:21am<b>reefnerd</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:30am<b>brand125</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 3:57am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:59am<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:23pm

jellitonoctopus's FML badges

50 quality responses

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (9133)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML

#17970324
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26744) - you deserved it (3784)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:47pm - money - by ipodless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

#17969819
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (26512)

On 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm - health - by omgreally91 (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

#17958563
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (3400)

On 10/11/2011 at 7:52am - work - by anon - United States

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

#17958014
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (5331)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:32am - love - by poopooppachuu - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

#17957151
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21819) - you deserved it (1961)

On 10/11/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by nodad - United States

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

#17940122
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10945) - you deserved it (35388)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (3122)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

#17936409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (15822)

On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my crush didn't make up a fake girlfriend to get me jealous; he made her up as a way to tell me to back off. FML

#17934833
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (30629)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:01pm - love - by Cassidy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (24111)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (2439)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

#17919933
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11057) - you deserved it (28022)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25292) - you deserved it (19947)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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