About jellitonoctopus : It all begins with a lighthouse.
jellitonoctopus's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
jellitonoctopus's favorite FMLs
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML
by ipodless / 10/12/2011 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Money
by omgreally91 / 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm / United States / Health
by anon / 10/11/2011 at 7:52am / United States / Work
Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML
by poopooppachuu / 10/11/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Love
by nodad / 10/11/2011 at 12:52am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML
by Emily S / 10/09/2011 at 1:17am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Cassidy / 10/08/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:36am / Sri Lanka / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
by ohgawd / 10/08/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 1:27pm / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML
by kemando / 10/06/2011 at 6:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
by Beeisc00l / 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm / Reserved / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…