jdkfgkjdfb

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jdkfgkjdfb

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28809
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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jdkfgkjdfb's page activity

Visits<b>creativelexi</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:06am<b>alaillama</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:25pm<b>naturallyfuck</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:27am<b>obnum</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:21pm<b>conman1198</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:39pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:23am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:41pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 11:17pm<b>ihateharrypotter</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 1:12am<b>GtaTomV</b> - the 06/29/2009 at 12:30pm<b>mrfitzpatrick</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 11:02pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 4:09pm<b>kindmoby</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 4:26am<b>epic_name</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 3:33am<b>BUTitsBROKEN</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 9:13pm<b>blue16</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 10:24am<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 11:57am

jdkfgkjdfb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jdkfgkjdfb's favorite FMLs

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

by mikesok988 / 05/07/2009 at 3:40am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

by fmal / 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

by Spec / 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

by Chelsea / 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

by cjj325 / 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML

by powsser / 03/11/2009 at 9:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML

by sasd32 / 03/06/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

by Noname / 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

by alejita / 03/02/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

by hi / 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids