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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79662) - you deserved it (3520)
On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82172) - you deserved it (6573)
On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64061) - you deserved it (3427)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51743) - you deserved it (4401)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42688) - you deserved it (8044)
On 05/10/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ya - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46343) - you deserved it (1550)
On 05/10/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by disturbed (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52217) - you deserved it (5106)
On 05/10/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by sucksforme. (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25777) - you deserved it (37274)
On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47014) - you deserved it (6247)
On 05/09/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Troms)
Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52584) - you deserved it (2879)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by matt5th35hit (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67383) - you deserved it (17981)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62861) - you deserved it (33469)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112402) - you deserved it (9396)
On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait
Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45276) - you deserved it (3952)
On 05/08/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by Wally (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81663) - you deserved it (11269)
On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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