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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 28867
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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jdkfgkjdfb's page activity

Visits<b>creativelexi</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:06am<b>alaillama</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:25pm<b>naturallyfuck</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:27am<b>obnum</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:21pm<b>conman1198</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:39pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:23am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:41pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 11:17pm<b>ihateharrypotter</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 1:12am<b>GtaTomV</b> - the 06/29/2009 at 12:30pm<b>mrfitzpatrick</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 11:02pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 4:09pm<b>kindmoby</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 4:26am<b>epic_name</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 3:33am<b>BUTitsBROKEN</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 9:13pm<b>blue16</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 10:24am<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 11:57am

jdkfgkjdfb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jdkfgkjdfb's favorite FMLs

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

by Hallllo / 05/11/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML

by newdriver / 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML

by Jess-zee / 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Kids

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

by Ya / 05/10/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Holidays

Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML

by disturbed / 05/10/2009 at 5:56am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

by sucksforme. / 05/10/2009 at 1:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 10:45am / Norway (Troms) / Kids

Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

by matt5th35hit / 05/09/2009 at 4:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

by stpdaziandude / 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

by Wally / 05/08/2009 at 11:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

by HidenSeek / 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML

by spanishteach / 05/07/2009 at 10:50am / United States (New York) / Kids