jdhebert

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Offline (the 12/27/2014 at 11:05pm)

jdhebert

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 577
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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jdhebert's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:18pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 12:13am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:58am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:47pm<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:41pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:55pm<b>184886837272837</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Murilirum</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:45pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:58pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:24pm<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 4:07pm<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:21pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:13pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:53pm<b>gabobi91</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>Daschundman</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 11:24pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:11pm

jdhebert's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of jdhebert's badges

jdhebert's favorite FMLs

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

by wait..what / 09/22/2009 at 1:15am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

by picturemenakedbaby / 07/21/2009 at 6:42am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

by Byron fiddles / 02/24/2009 at 6:57am / Hungary (Budapest) / Intimacy

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

by lilzoot / 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Alabama) / Geek