Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jcroisdale

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

jcroisdale

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 543
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jcroisdale's page activity

Visits<b>XXKatSlashXX</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:40pm<b>hawkknight</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:02pm<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:59pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>aljop</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:38am<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:03am<b>ZogerOx</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:03am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:12am

jcroisdale's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of jcroisdale's badges

jcroisdale's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (2227)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32991) - you deserved it (6067)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (3399)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (7088)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (3686)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34305) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (4025)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33440) - you deserved it (5170)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (14481)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (33393)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (2879)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46243) - you deserved it (6577)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

#21153319
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46547) - you deserved it (3855)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: