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jchansfan

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jchansfan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9770
  • Number of comments : 379
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jchansfan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (3621)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9455) - you deserved it (33879)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36083) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (3881)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (6992)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (6328)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (22794)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (3748)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (2180)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (6463)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (4230)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

#8402650
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32434) - you deserved it (2456)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28693) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (2159)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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