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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jbucklez

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jbucklez
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4348
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jbucklez's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#4196733 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (46807) - you deserved it (1520)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (10322) - you deserved it (47922)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (51481) - you deserved it (6803)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (62658)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I came home to find a random car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spit on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (51360)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML

#1283186 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (46870) - you deserved it (5051)

On 04/24/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by avanti (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (17680) - you deserved it (62745)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (7151) - you deserved it (54599)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (17211) - you deserved it (40848)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (43126) - you deserved it (13378)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

#966838 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (13544) - you deserved it (65076)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by seussical65 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

#964759 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (55435) - you deserved it (4942)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (13463) - you deserved it (49162)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (402847) - you deserved it (26901)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (47825)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States