jblumz

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jblumz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1078
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jblumz : I am not a dog.

jblumz's page activity

Visits<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:47pm<b>maxhhh</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:48pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:18am<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:00pm<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:14am<b>Kyuzomi</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:32am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 11:10am<b>pwmjm</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:25am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>codazombie</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 7:05pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 10:30am<b>kmccain</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 2:02pm<b>marisol180</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:14am<b>SlashAndBurn</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 2:43pm<b>Lustuu</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:29am<b>thomashood</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 7:32pm<b>overslept</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 1:37am

jblumz's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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jblumz's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

by notakeeper / 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

by anon / 12/27/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

by lonely otaku / 12/25/2013 at 2:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

by ANONYMOUS -_- / 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

by religiunatic / 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 3:25am / United States / Kids

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood / 12/09/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

by purebliss / 12/05/2013 at 7:43pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

by yulis / 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Money