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jblumz

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jblumz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 259
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jblumz : I am not a dog.

jblumz's page activity

Visits<b>maxhhh</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:48pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:18am<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:00pm<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 10:14am<b>Kyuzomi</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:32am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 11:10am<b>pwmjm</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:25am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>codazombie</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 7:05pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 10:30am<b>kmccain</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 2:02pm<b>marisol180</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:14am<b>SlashAndBurn</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 2:43pm<b>Lustuu</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:29am<b>thomashood</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 7:32pm<b>overslept</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 1:37am<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:39pm

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50 favourites

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jblumz's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49041) - you deserved it (17457)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50751) - you deserved it (4173)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40249) - you deserved it (9583)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54324) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37282) - you deserved it (6544)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46395) - you deserved it (4055)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44772) - you deserved it (3468)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35037) - you deserved it (3035)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

#20991205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39384) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by religiunatic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50390) - you deserved it (8000)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50419) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (7195)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44803) - you deserved it (5561)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45420) - you deserved it (6458)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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Wednesday 13 August 2014

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