Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jbizzle2688

Search for a member

jbizzle2688

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 627
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jbizzle2688's page activity

Visits<b>bradysant</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 9:09am<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 12:01am

jbizzle2688's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of jbizzle2688's badges

jbizzle2688's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21725) - you deserved it (4987)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42323) - you deserved it (3812)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34225) - you deserved it (7158)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36746) - you deserved it (4808)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

#14510497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8030) - you deserved it (52686)

On 01/08/2011 at 5:05pm - money - by qx5 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML

#14195303
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13413) - you deserved it (47320)

On 12/13/2010 at 9:01pm - love - by blahblah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (49191)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (5985)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

#6848390
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (5227)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (4168)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (4737)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

#5455728
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9790) - you deserved it (27567)

On 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

#3855334
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69535) - you deserved it (7748)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by Meh (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to start running to stay fit. Before I left, I put my cell phone in my sweat shirt pocket, and jumped vigorously up and down and ran around my apartment to make sure it wouldn't fall out. On a bridge, it slides out of my pocket and drops fifteen feet into the water below. FML

#3360429
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38813) - you deserved it (14618)

On 06/30/2009 at 5:23am - health - by Ginny (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58436) - you deserved it (7469)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: