jbizzle2688

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jbizzle2688

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 912
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jbizzle2688's page activity

Visits<b>walid820014</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 4:52am<b>bradysant</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 9:09am<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 12:01am

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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jbizzle2688's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

by notacreeper / 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm / Love

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

by qx5 / 01/08/2011 at 5:05pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Money

Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML

by blahblah / 12/13/2010 at 9:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

by yoked / 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

by catwoman / 10/31/2009 at 12:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

by Oblivious / 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

by Meh / 07/18/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to start running to stay fit. Before I left, I put my cell phone in my sweat shirt pocket, and jumped vigorously up and down and ran around my apartment to make sure it wouldn't fall out. On a bridge, it slides out of my pocket and drops fifteen feet into the water below. FML

by Ginny / 06/30/2009 at 5:23am / Netherlands (Friesland) / Health

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals