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jbatarseh11

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jbatarseh11
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  • Number of visits : 43
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jbatarseh11's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband bitched me out for going to the toilet after we had sex. He thinks it's my way of not getting pregnant and from now on, I can't go to the toilet for at least 2 hours after sex. FML

#21117730
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (2957)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by allaturca (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28655) - you deserved it (2598)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35581) - you deserved it (3308)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18064) - you deserved it (42165)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40255) - you deserved it (5704)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36707) - you deserved it (5476)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36224) - you deserved it (2721)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48524) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50552) - you deserved it (4030)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML



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