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jbarrick17

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jbarrick17

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 835
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jbarrick17 : I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

jbarrick17's page activity

Visits<b>fuzz97</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 4:56pm

jbarrick17's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jbarrick17's badges

jbarrick17's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25622) - you deserved it (1981)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (2760)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27967) - you deserved it (4572) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

#21373875
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (21638)

On 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28361) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (6347)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15) - you deserved it (2017)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34124) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (5369)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML

#21363816
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4) - you deserved it (4789)

On 02/26/2015 at 6:24am - kids - by showerlover (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML

#21357283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34958) - you deserved it (3728)

On 02/16/2015 at 11:39am - intimacy - by notdaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

#21354177
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (9744)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31292) - you deserved it (3751)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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