Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jazzy_123

Search for a member

jazzy_123
  • Town/Country : Cali(:, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1111
  • Number of comments : 483
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jazzy_123 : My picture is cute x) smile guys! I don't exactly know why I put my name as my username... I kind of wish I had chosen a cooler name like flying_pandas or some crap like that. *Sigh* oh well. Feel free to message me x) I'm kind of friendly. Well I could choose to be however I want.. after all, this is the internet ^o^

jazzy_123's last visitors

fattYsteveERozza17PalindromesqueClay_PidgeonCODplayer4lyfeSundayNightSixPIGamingcnparks1990

jazzy_123's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of jazzy_123's badges

jazzy_123's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34978) - you deserved it (8384)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (3261)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35216) - you deserved it (4833)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38246) - you deserved it (2675)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (3708)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43780) - you deserved it (3657)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (11849)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (4459)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37895) - you deserved it (2678)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, we had a speaking assessment in Spanish class. When it was my turn, I yawned in the middle of a sentence, said "excuse me" and finished my sentence. She took points off because I hesitated and I spoke in English, not Spanish. FML

#21108988
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (10799)

On 04/09/2014 at 10:33pm - misc - by macaroni17 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (5625)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37291) - you deserved it (4882)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45194) - you deserved it (5123)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38545) - you deserved it (3262)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: