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jazzminemoody

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jazzminemoody

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  • Number of visits : 516
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jazzminemoody's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (6489)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49421) - you deserved it (10662)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

#20865686
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58711) - you deserved it (4188)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:30am - intimacy - by poolgirl789 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36806) - you deserved it (3028)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (19203)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42596) - you deserved it (4846)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49656) - you deserved it (5676)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59572) - you deserved it (6131)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39651) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52425) - you deserved it (6698)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40036) - you deserved it (7967)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (6817)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38039) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)



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