Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jazziness

Search for a member

jazziness

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7483
  • Number of comments : 186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jazziness : Gym, Tan, Lax
Minus the gym part haha

jazziness's page activity

Visits<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:35am<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:32pm<b>Si123</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:02pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:16pm<b>Trippleballs</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:10am<b>TheKingOfHearts</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:50am<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:58am<b>Mikeyburn85</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:40pm<b>_guy_j</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 1:55am<b>black_sher</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:13pm<b>xXShadowStormXx</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:16pm<b>kannan4</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:18pm<b>WeezyYaHeard</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:45pm<b>Kenya14</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:49pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 3:22pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 6:01pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 4:49pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:35am

Fucked!<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:32pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 5:52pm<b>SpanishDude42</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:59pm

jazziness's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jazziness's badges

jazziness's favorite FMLs

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (5474)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was so excited to hear my phone get a message that I jumped out of my seat. It was the TV, advertising texting plans. FML

#19374122
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20164) - you deserved it (4816)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:10am - misc - by Anon (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

#19361987
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (37476)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24923) - you deserved it (5687)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (2329)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (13142)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (12898)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (2895)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

#19291503
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (3007)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (7198)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (7198)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6740) - you deserved it (46078)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25189) - you deserved it (3051)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29253) - you deserved it (6082)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: