About jazziness : I like Bruno Mars uhmmm I played lacrosse, sorta. I love FML and been here a while but I don't usually comment because everyone excepts some stupid witty response. kk bye...
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was so excited to hear my phone get a message that I jumped out of my seat. It was the TV, advertising texting plans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13094) - you deserved it (3230)
On 03/30/2012 at 1:10am - misc - by Anon (woman) - New Zealand
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4519) - you deserved it (23421)
On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15239) - you deserved it (3671)
On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21247) - you deserved it (1729)
On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (8667)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15721) - you deserved it (8125)
On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (1906)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)
Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18274) - you deserved it (1963)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (912)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (912)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20116) - you deserved it (1399)
On 03/15/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Teh_dw33bin4tor (man) - Australia
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4290) - you deserved it (29582)
On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19373) - you deserved it (2152)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (4321)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5037) - you deserved it (22778)
On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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